freedom

YOU CAN’T CON A FORMER CON

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You can’t con a former con

 

As I listened to his account of what and how things happened in his life, something didn’t ring true. A con was in play. 

 

Here’s what he didn’t understand. He wasn’t talking to some newcomer or novice to this game. There was a time I was exactly where he was — only deeper. 

 

I knew how to lie. I knew how reverse blame. I knew how to throw up a false flag. 

 

You can’t con a former con. 

 

Talking to his wife days later, the truth about this man and his lies were exposed. 

 

Someone once said, "Like a lumbering boulder rolling down a hill, truth will win out in spite of man's opposition. It may be hindered, but it is impossible to stop."

 

Do you want to know the greatest truth I’ve learned in my resurrection out of the death spiral of pornography and sexual addition? 

 

Tell the damn truth.

(I put damn in this sentence to get your attention. Did it? Because believing this will change your life.)

 

The first belief I drill into every guy I coach is the belief that honesty is your best friend.Why? Because addicts are liars. 

 

I had to lie. I had too much to hide. Too much I didn’t want anyone to see. Or know about. I learned to how to lie well. With a smile on my face. And without a hint of hesitation in my voice. 

 

In fact, that’s exactly what addiction is. It is the belief that a lying life is easier to manage than a truthful life.

 

We lie to ourselves. “This really isn’t hurting me that much.”
We lie to others. “I’m wonderful, thanks for asking.” 
We lie to God. “Just you and me Lord. We can beat this all alone.”

 

Quit the con. Stop the lies. Throw yourself into the safe arms of truth and an honest admission of your desperate need for help. 

 

Just before going to print, I re-named my new book. I’ll let you in on the new title.

 

“DEATH BY A THOUSAND LIES”

 

Because in the end, it wasn’t the addiction that killed me. It was the lies. 

 

Freedom was waiting to be had… as soon as I dared to utter the truth. 

 

I sinned.
I wasn't a victim.
I chose the life I was living.
I had learned how to live with my lies.  
My only hope for lasting freedom was honesty and humility. 

 

My new favorite quote is one I read recently by an amazing writer named Rachel Wolchin,

 

“Before the truth can set you free, you need to recognize which lie is holding you hostage.”

 

I pray for us today. 



That Jesus would help us see through the facades we create… and to stop believing the facades we have put up are actually true. May we drop the masquerade. And allow our hearts and lives to be seen for exactly who we are. That place where Jesus is invited to see His truth to do it’s ultimate work.

 

Setting us free. 




I love when I hear back from you. Your thoughts. Your questions. Perhaps a plea for help. There are resources links below and jump into the comments as well.


Blaine

 

RESOURCES
 

If you need marital or addiction coaching...  click here and discover your path to complete healing.

If you are a Pastor or conference leader… and are interested in having Blaine speak to your church or men's event,  click here and let’s plan something amazing!


If you would like to support us financially... click here and thank you for helping us make a difference in the lives of those who are fighting for freedom from addiction. 

I'm Going to let you in on a Little Secret

 

Ok. I’m going to let you in a little secret. 

I’ve written nearly 20 books. Sold around 300,000 of them over the years. And every book I’ve written to date has taken me little more than a month to write. 

The book I’m about to publish has taken 5 years. It’s the most important assignment that the Lord has ever given me. I believe it is going to help thousands of men break the power of lust and sexual bondage over their lives. 

The title of the book is “The 7 Dirty Little Secrets of Resurrection.” The subtitle describes the content perfectly, “My confession, my crash and my comeback from sexual addiction.”

We are publishing it ourselves because Christian publishers have said it’s too honest. They wanted to sanitize it. 

When the Spirit prompted me to share my story, I knew I had to do three things:

1. Be perfectly transparent about my journey. 

2. Help every reader discover why pornography and sexual sin is such a menacing enemy to the soul.

3. Share the seven secrets God gave me to rise out of the ashes of addiction, loss and devastation. 

I thought I would give you a sneak peak at what is coming.

Here is a brief segment from one of the early chapters:


“It was a beautiful spring day in Frisco, Texas, a bustling, from-the-box suburb north of Dallas. It was just warm enough to make life enjoyable, but without being overbearing or causing the day-long complaints that eventually come with the onset of summer. 

In the midst of this beauty, down amongst the exhaust fumes and newly laid concrete of Legacy Drive—essentially a six-lane highway and one of the busiest streets in Frisco—Curtis McKenzie was out for a stroll. He stumbled along in mud-caked jeans, shuffling in a mostly straight line straight down the center of Legacy, distractedly sparking a Bic lighter with one hand while cupping his other hand around the cigarette dangling loosely between his lips. 

He wanted one last smoke before God took him, but the damn thing wouldn’t light. 

Curtis took no notice of the abrasive honking, of the squealing rubber of suddenly averting tires as vehicles on this highly trafficked road swerved to avoid hitting him. He was too involved in that final cigarette to care about any of that. 

Too focused on the perfect mess he’d made of his life. 

Curtis wanted out of that mess, and just like the blindfolded prisoners in classic films are given one final smoke before they face the firing squad, he felt entitled to this conclusive Marlboro Light. 

Plus, if he was looking down at his lighter, he might not see the face of whatever unfortunate motorist wound up taking him out.

Just minutes before this ill-conceived stroll, Curtis had looked into his parents’ eyes and told them everything. It was the last of the face-to-face confessions he’d made that day, finally opening up and shocking his loved ones—his wife, his kids—with the truth about his double life.

His secret identity.
Curtis McKenzie was me.

Blaine Bartel—that’s my real name. Ask anyone who knew me then and they’d tell you I was a great guy. As far as they knew, anyway. Sure, I wasn’t perfect—didn’t have a perfect marriage or perfect kids—but everything was going great. My ministry was flourishing, my boys were well-adjusted, and though my wife and I had our problems, those problems didn’t look like anything out of the ordinary. Not even to her. 

No, Blaine Bartel was not a bad guy. He loved his wife and children. He was fiercely devoted to Christ and to God’s kingdom, relentlessly and fearlessly living out the divine assignments of his God-ordained purpose. He was the “man of God” in his family, the voice that trumpeted the Good News of the gospel around the world, both in pulpits and on airwaves. He was the author of books, the host of national television shows, the always-humble rock star who rubbed shoulders with some of the biggest names in the Christian entertainment complex. 

Curtis McKenzie? That guy loved only himself. His eyes were glassy, intoxicated with pleasure. His voice gave only throaty howls of entitlement. His imagination knew no depth to its depravity, and it was a wellspring of death, incessantly gurgling forth new ideas to torture Blaine with. His power over Blaine seemed overwhelming, powered by the lethal, cold-blooded killer known as the god of gratification. 

God had raised Blaine up. 
And Curtis was bringing him down.”


This short excerpt is just the beginning of what I believe will be one of the most heart-rending and inspiring books you’ve ever read.

While it begins with the tale of my slow descent into death, the fascinating power of the resurrection Jesus bestowed in my life will bring hope to every man that has ever struggled with their own inner demons and fear.

We are just weeks away from launching a Kickstarter Campaign to raise the money to publish this book. We are still researching the final budget for all the production, but I believe the costs will around $10,000.00. 

Here’s what I am humbly asking of you as a friend or colleague today. 

Just pray. 

Pray that the Lord will provide. Pray for the hearts of people will be touched to help us. We must get this out to the thousands (perhaps millions) of men who are trapped in this cycle of sin and pain... and feel beyond repair.

Thank you for praying and believing in us. 

Grace always,

Blaine Bartel
Comeback Coach. Resurrectionist. Jesus flag-waver. 

PS. This book will actually be a part of a compilation of resources, called “Chopping Wood.” It will include the book, a training video for men on sexual purity and audio coaching for spouses who are suffering through the pain of betrayal.