WHY I BREAK THE RULES

why I break the rules.png

 

You are not going believe this. 

 

When I paid $30,000 to go to a sex addiction rehab center eight years ago, my chances of finding freedom were absolutely mind-boggling. 

 

Twenty perecent. 

 

That’s right. According to studies by Dr. Patrick Carnes, the respected pioneer of porn and sex addiction therapy, just 2 out of 10 men remain free from their addictive vices one year after treatment. 

 

I am one of the twenty percenters. 

 

And now I have allowed God to take my conquering and fashion it into a calling. Coaching men. Calling men. Out of their shame and brokenness. Into genuine freedom. 

 

In the past 18 months, I have coached nearly 100 men through our RESURRECT777 Life Transformation Program. Guess how many guys I’ve had go off the rails and back into their old life of porn and sexual vice? 

 

One. 

 

I want to explain why I have so much success equipping men to conquer this awful obsession. 

 

I break the rules. 

 

Here is a short list of the industry rules I break. 

 

Rule #1 - “Don’t get emotionally invested in your client.”

 

I call BS! I am completely invested in every client I take on. Not just emotionally, but spiritually as well. I pray for all the guys I coach often… and for their families. I care like crazy… and they know it. And because they know it, they put the same emotional effort into the work they have to do. 

 

Rule #2 - “If a client has the money, take every one that walks through the door.”

 

Addiction counselors will see anyone that comes in the door. And I get that. It’s how they make their living. But I have chosen a different path. I pre-screen every potential client. If they are just coming to me because they “got caught” or fail to show any real passion for their freedom, I’m out. 

 

I learned this from my mentor, Dr. Ken McGill. He doesn’t mess around. He asked guys to leave our group work because they were not serious about their recovery.  They way I look at, I’m bringing 100% to your rediscovery of life — you should bring that and more. 

 

Rule #3 - “You must admit you are an addict the rest of your life.” 

 

This is commonplace in addiction therapy. Check-in’s at any therapy group start with each participant declaring, “My name is Bill and I am an alcoholic.” (or whatever Bill’s addiction has been) That’s the absolute worst protocol the professional addiction community has ever contrived. 

 

Here’s the truth. You can own your sin or addictive behavior and not be defined by it. If fact, if you continually identify yourself as an addict - you will likely remain an “eighty-percenter” — one of those who never finds freedom. I train men to transform their beliefs about who they are. That changes everything. 

 

Rule #4 - “Never share your own past with a client.” 

 

The majority of counselors do not talk of their past as a form of illustrative training. Maybe they don’t have a past in the area they are counseling. If they do, perhaps they still have their own struggles or just don’t like talking about it. 

 

But I do. And here’s why. Overcoming my past is precisely what gives me the right to speak with authority to the men I coach. And here’s what men tell me over and over — “Blaine, knowing your story and how you navigated your way to freedom, gives me more hope and more understanding than all the textbook instruction in the world.” 

 

Personally, I don’t want to learn from a “know-it-all.”
I want to learn from a “done-it-all.”

 

Rule #5 - “All we are required to do is counsel our clients and that’s where it ends.”

 

When you go to a counselor, you won’t be given their cell number and told to “call anytime.” And that’s cool - especially if you're meeting with 40 clients a week. But I'm not. 

 

You see, I call myself a coach and not a counselor for a very good reason. I don’t just want to meet in an office (or online) with you once a week and sit there looking at you introspectively while you do most of the talking. 

 

A coach is in the trenches with his players. 
A coach is more concerned about your future than your past.
A coach is always available when a player is struggling with an assignment. 
And a coach… 

 

Will kick your rear-end. (And a coach would never say rear-end) 

 

If we work together, I will be your coach, not a gentle advisor. Saddle up man of God — were going to work. 

 

Rule #6 “It’s all about recovery.”

 

When I was sent into rehab eight years ago, that’s all I heard. 

 

“Your a recovering sex addict”
“Stay in your recovery program”
“How’s your recovery going?” 

 

But I heard the whisper of the Spirit about a year into my “recovery” and it went something like this: “Blaine, I am not interested in giving you a recovery — I am calling you into resurrection.”

 

When you have blown your life apart, there is nothing to “recover.” What could I possibly want in my past? 

 

My head was a mess.
My relationships were all shallow or broken. 
My “success” was a mirage that masked my unhappiness. 

 

Jesus invited me into resurrection. A new way of living. A reimagining of what life could actually be. He energized me with the power to actually snatch me out my sepulcher of secrets into divine freedom.

 

Rule #7 “You can’t talk about Jesus.”

 

I’m sorry, but that’s all I talk about. The most significant aspect of my resurrection out of addiction was the revelation of who Jesus really is. 

 

I had been a “Christian” for 30 years. But I was literally born again — AGAIN. I encountered Jesus in the deepest possible way. There was something about finally revealing my pain and brokenness that invited Jesus into my life in a way I had never experienced. 

 

Religious shame was peeled away.
Laws to be kept were replaced by love to be encountered. 
Church attendance was replaced with healing community. 
Powerlessness was trumped by resurrection. 

 

My last word to you today my dear friend is this:

 

If you feel broken or overcome by your dark secrets today, embrace the courage to surrender. 

 

You don’t have to know all the answers. 
You don’t have to worry about how it’s all going to turn out. 
And you don’t have to be afraid of what people will think about you. 

 

All that matters, is you are courageously bringing your dead heart and your dead hopes to the healer. 

 

If I can help you, reach out to me today. Beginning in August, I have openings for three new clients. Let’s conquer this enemy once and for all. 

 

Click HERE and complete the coaching form and I will set up a free confidential consultation with you.


Grace and peace, 

 

Blaine



HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

 

If you want to read Blaine's extraordinary story... check out his brand new book, DEATH BY A THOUSAND LIES by clicking here. 
 

If you need marital or addiction coaching...  click here and discover your path to complete healing.

 

If you are a Pastor or conference leader… and are interested in having Blaine speak to your church or men's event,  click here and let’s plan something amazing!


If you would like to support us financially... click here and thank you for helping us make a difference in the lives of those who are fighting for freedom from addiction.