3 REASONS CHURCH GUYS CRAVE PORN

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I slammed my laptop shut. 

 

The anger and shame was no longer simmering beneath the surface — it reached a boiling point. 

 

“Why do I keep coming back to this sh*#… again and again and again?” 

 

This was the question that ruthlessly tormented me through my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s. 

 

I was a Christian. 
I was a preacher. 
I desperately wanted to please God.

 

So why was porn my constant “go to”?

 

Today I can look back and tell you exactly why. And I believe my experience and gravitational pull into the addictive world of pornography relates to 99% of Christian guys. 

 

There were 3 primary reasons I had an insatiable craving for porn in my life. 

 

1. It was my little secret. 

 

We church guys all know the sin “whoppers” right? 

 

Adultery. Murder. Divorce. Partying. Gambling. Drugs. And Porn. 

 

Well for me… of all those temptations, porn was the easiest to keep under wraps. (I only thought of killing someone once and it was myself) 

 

No one would know. And it was a harmless sin. Sure — I knew God wasn’t happy about it, but of all the sins out there, the repercussions of porn had no effect on anyone but me. (or so I thought) I could get away with it again and again and no one would know. Except me. 

 

And that was the problem in the end. I knew.


And I couldn’t live with it. I lost control. Lust took the wheel in my life. And it didn’t stop until it had taken everything. 

 

2. I believed porn was simply a spiritual problem.

 

If I just prayed more, fasted more often, read my Bible more… Jesus would deliver me from this terrible vice. And because I isolated my addiction as only a spiritual dilemma, I could never conquer it. So the craving only increased.  

 

I have learned that overcoming porn was a process of becoming a whole man on three levels. 

 

--->  Understanding my own mind and how to change my beliefs (and ultimately my thinking) about myself and women. 
 

--->   Understanding my body and what healthy sexuality really looks like.
 

--->  Understanding my spirit and why my misguided thoughts about God drove me deeper into lust. 

 

3. I believed God would reward my “purity pledge.”  

 

I was a virgin when I got married. So was my wife. We were told by many a pastor and evangelist that if we would “save ourselves for marriage” that God would give us a greater experience sexually than the world could ever offer us. 

 

True and not true. 

 

True —  if two partners enter marriage with a healthy sexual perspective and share openly with one another their desires, their fears and even their questions. And if they find roadblocks to mutual satisfaction intimately, they seek out wise counsel or therapy. 

 

Not true — if you assume because you abstained from sex before marriage that great sex would be “an automatic” in marriage. 

 

An amazing sex life does not fall down from heaven as some kind of reward for suffering through abstinence. It flourishes though trial and error together, loving and honest communication and learning to let yourself go and embrace the beauty of the deepest intimacy you will ever feel with another soul. 

 

I’ve coached many a Christian man who saved himself for marriage, only to be disillusioned with a disappointing sex life — then reverting to porn — all driven by a sense of bitterness, entitlement and emotional pain in his marriage. 

 

Certainly, these aren’t the only reasons guys in the church have been so impacted by porn. I have discovered a host of other triggers that seem to impact religious men even more than those outside the church. 


So more to come down the road.

 

If you are struggling, get help. 

 

How can I make this more clear?

 

If you are struggling, get help. 
If you are struggling, get help.  
IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING GET HELP.

 

You will never beat porn alone. 
That is a fact.
I have yet to meet a man who stopped by himself.
Ever. 

 

If I can help coach you out of your dependence or addiction, hit me up right here. Read though my coaching info and shoot me a message at the bottom of the page. And if money is an issue for you, let me know and I will figure out a way to help you. 

 

Let’s make 2018 the year we left porn and sexual vice behind.

 

For good.

 

Blaine



PS. Beginning the end of January, I am leading two recovery groups for guys who are serious about ending porn in their life. 
 

One in Tulsa, Oklahoma. 
The second will be an Online Group for men all over the nation.
 

Space is limited to 12 men in each group. There is a small fee to join. Both groups are close to being filled, so if you have a desire to participate, don't wait --- shoot me a personal email at bbartel99@gmail.com and I will send you all the details.

 

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