What Keeps me From Going Back?

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So when someone catches me in a vulnerable moment at dinner or coffee, this is one of my most asked questions...

"Blaine.... after coming out of 25 years of such a crazy life of sexual addiction, what keeps you from going back?"

Fair question. You know why? 

Because we former addicts lived on the edge. Total adventure. High adrenaline. Out of control craziness. And it's easy for a former addict to only remember the "mad as a hatter" insanely fun moments of our past lives. And a very real temptation for many is to return... one more night... one more drink... one more encounter...  --- especially in moments of pain, stress, rejection or loneliness. 

And... did you know only 30% of people that enter (and pay $$$$'s for) addiction recovery programming actully find freedom. And these are only the figures for those that stay in a program for ONE YEAR. It doesn't include those who drop out!

So what has made me one of the exceptions to the norm? There are honestly several major contributors, but I want to share one in particular with you today. 

Rewind to dinner a couple weeks ago with my oldest son Jeremy. 

We were sharing a meal together at Daddy Jack's, our favorite little supper haunt in Dallas and I asked him something...



"Bub... it's been seven years since I put you through a living hell.... Is there anything lingering from that time in your life that you are still trying to get past?

His answer was thoughtful and direct... "Dad... there are times that I find myself fearing that it will happen again." 

And there you have it. The most powerful deterrent in my life today. 

I am completely committed (and those words aren't even powerful enough) to never... ever... put the people I love the most through any more pain and heartache. 

As I began to tell Jeremy this, he stopped me mid-sentence and said softly, "Dad... you don't have to say it. I  know how hard you have worked and I am so proud of the man you've become. I just don't want the beauty of the life we share today to ever change."

What a profound conversation. 

So my word today is simple: Remember the pain. The pain we've caused another through our anger or dishonesty or pride... or simply not being there when we were needed most. 

I am not advocating going to a place of shame. Or regret. But simply reminding yourself why living the resurrected life is worth it. Reminding yourself that the greatest gift you can receive from another human being is the gift of trust. 

Protect it. It matters. 

Thank you to all of you who have helped fund our Kickstarter Campaign. We are getting so close to raising $10,000 for our new "CHOPPING WOOD COLLECTIVE." 

This new book, video and audio collection is going to revolutionize the lives of both men and women caught in the pain of pornography and sexual brokenness. 

If you haven't had a chance, please take a moment to watch our video and read our story. And then peruse all the amazing rewards we have put together for our backers. 

Thank you for making this a reality!

Grace always,



For mentoring and coaching, click here.
To inquire about Blaine speaking at your church or event, click here.
For learn more about Blaine's Kickstarter Campaign, click here.